Do We Believe in God or Fortune-Tellers?

If you were born under the Chinese zodiac of Dragon, you can't get
married during the year of the Dragon (2012, in case you ask..). Why?
Because shit will happen if you do. If you're a Horse, you can't marry
a Chicken (i.e. born 3 years younger than you). Why? Shit will happen.
Two days before & two days after the Chinese new year, you can't clean
the house or throw out the trash. Why? More shit will happen.

The more we think, the more we realize how ancient mythology still
plays a large part in our modern lives: whether we succeed or fail,
whether we marry happily or shoot the crap out of each other like Mr.
& Mrs. Smith. We may be devoted to our religions: Moslem, Catholic,
Christianity, Buddhism, and so on. But it's funny how most of the
time, we rely on ancient beliefs instead of our one true God or Allah
or Buddha, to determine our fate.

Recently, a good friend (who shall remain anonymous) who has been
single for God-knows-how-long, met a girl who, according to his
account, might just be his soulmate. They have great chemistry, and
both have gone though the daunting task of meeting the parents. All
doors are wide open for them to hit the next step in their
relationship: a beautiful wedding. One problem: the girl is a Dragon,
so she can't get married next year (Dragon year is 2012). The
following year, 2013, is Snake year, so the guy can't get hitched. All
in all, they only have until January of next year to marry, or else
wait until 2014.

Can a wedding be arranged in 10 months? Sure, I've seen it done. Do
they both want to marry in such a rush? No idea. Do they believe
strongly in this myth? The guy sure does. Can their relationship
survive and wait 3 more years? Only time will tell. Ideally, they
ditch the myth and get married next year. But if shit does happen in
their marriage, they will second-guess their decision and wondered,
had they believed the myth and delayed the wedding to 2014, would they
have better luck? The argument will add fuel to the bonfire.

Another case that was brought up to me lately by a step-auntie, who is
known to have an "ability", is that of my third kid. She has this
strong premonition that, if me and my wife have a kid in the year of
the Dragon (2012. Yes this number keeps popping up like an apparition
from a Mayan calendar), then our fortune will soar sky high. I did not
ask her what will happen if we don't. We'll probably be just regular
John and Jane Doe's, living conventional lives.

We do not mind a third kid. The issue is timing. My wife is now
pregnant with our second, who is due in May of 2011. The Dragon year
ends around January of 2013, so if we want to have a Dragon kid, she
has to get pregnant again as late as May 2012. While this is not
biologically impossible, she will surely have a lot on her plate: the
new baby and the first son (Josh) growing up and probably starting
school. Can she handle another pregnancy THAT soon?

Of course, being a Catholic, I believe God determines my fate. The
zodiac of my third kid will have nothing to do with His will. What I
cannot handle, as in the first case of my friend above, is the
second-guessing. Say, for example, my third kid is born in 2014
(whatever year that is), and after its birth, my life takes a plunge
down the toilet bowl. People who knew about the premonition will start
blaming me, saying that, if I had had the kid during the Dragon year,
that shit would not have happened.

People who truly believe in God will not second-guess all of the
above, will they not? Everything happens according to God's will: the
failed marriage and the failed live, in the above cases. But we live
in an environment where ancient myth still plays a key role. People
still do second-guessing. Being an Indonesian-Chinese, my examples
revolve around Chinese mythologies, but for others, I'm sure other
mythologies produce similar effects.

What to do? Only to prove those myths wrong, and me and my wife are on
our way of doing so. See, me and her are separated by three years. I'm
a Horse, she's a Chicken. Chinese wisdom says that we can't marry,
or.. You guessed it. Shit will happen. But we've been married for
three years, have a decent life, with a cute and smart first son, a
second daughter on the way, a good business, families who love us,
great friends, and so on. All those, I believe, are God-given.

If I had followed the myth and marry the ideal damsel (a girl born under
the Dog zodiac, for those who wonder), who knows, maybe I would have
hit it big and become President of the United States. But that's
second-guessing and God will have none of that.

So my point is, respect your tradition and myth, but never let them
dictate your lives, because only God determines your fate. Nobody else
does. Do whatever makes you and those around you comfortable. You live
to satisfy them, not those fortune-tellers. And finally, never
second-guess whatever happens in life. It will drive you nuts.

I close this post with a kind wish, that my friends in case #1 above
will find it in their hearts to *sort of* ignore the ancient myths,
and instead focus on what you have in hand, and that is each other's
love. Give time for love to grow in your relationship. No need to rush
into marriage to have it before 2012, and no need to wait until 2014,
because that's too darn long. God always gives what is best for His
children. Have faith in this. Not in man-made myths.

As for my Dragon kid.. Well, let's just say it's still up in the air..
Stay tuned.