If You Only Watch One Movie This New Year's Eve, Let It Be This Movie

Superficially, this movie is molded in its pre-decessor "Valentine's Day"; a romantic comedy with a long lineup of All-Star Hollywood cast. Guys might cringe at the invite to watch this (Jimbo, are you listening?). But once you saw it, you realize the deeper meaning that the movie was trying to convey.

This movie is about second chances. It's about making things right when you're given another chance, something we are all dying to get at some point in our lives. And the movie sure gave a bunch of stories about this.

A second chance for a daughter to reach out one last time to her dying father. A second chance for a couple breaking up due to each other's demanding lives to patch things up. A second chance for a single mother to let her young daughter have a social life. A second chance for a guy who hates New Year's celebrations so much to find the beauty in them, and to find true love. A second chance for an ousted engineer to gain his job back. A second chance for two strangers who met last New Year's eve to see if their love was meant to be. A second chance for two mothers to forego the competition for reward money and bring their newborns into this world safely. A second chance for a female nurse to catch a moment with her soldier boyfriend before he was being sent to battlefield, be it only through a webcam. A second chance for a young man to fulfill a stranger's ten New Year's resolutions. A second chance for a man dying with disease to see the ball drop in Times Square one final time.

After all, isn't it what New Year's is all about? We get another chance at fixing things we messed up last year, at fulfilling last year's resolutions that are still on our list, at improving ourselves for the better, and at reconnecting with the most important people in our lives.

All the stories above are weaved together beautifully into one magnificent movie, to show that despite their individual problems, they are all intertwined in a web of mankind (or the people of New York City, in this case) that collectively celebrate the coming of the New Year. And when the clock strikes midnight, when the Times Square ball hits its base, when everything becomes right, and when gorgeous Lea Michele performs the most beautiful rendition of "Auld Lang Syne", I can't help but to shed a few tears in remembrance of departed family members that can no longer share this joyous moment. Of all the memories that the departing year has left me with. Of all the new possibilities that the new year will bring.

And that's when I'm glad that I was watching this movie alone in a darkened theater room. No one should see a grown man cry, after all....

Happy New Year 2013 to each and every one of you!

Ten Things Worth Noting about the Amazing Spider-Man 2012

Spider-Man has been and will always be my all-time favorite superhero, so naturally I had a mini-orgasm when Marvel decided to create a Hollywood flick back in 2002. The first movie continued with the second and later the third, each one better than the one before. Marvel did a marvelous job developing the characters and the storyline, and when rumors of the fourth movie started to brew, I got excited. Images of new villains (the Lizard, Rhino, even a new Goblin), along with the possible plot that Peter and MJ might finally tie the knot in this one, have created a certain enthusiasm within.

But alas, all great things must come to an end. Marvel was acquired by Disney, which did not sit too well with Sony Pictures (the producer of the first Spidey trilogy). The negotiation with the original director, Sam Raimi, failed, and they had to bring in a new guy (Marc Webb). Not to forget the current trends to reboot famous trilogies (read: Batman, whose trilogy finishes with The Dark Knight Rises this month, and Superman soon). All of those have led to this 2012 version of Spider-Man, which as I am writing this, inevitably sets off various box-office records globally.

Despite being the biggest opponent to this "Spidey reboot" idea, deep down I am also a fan. I will watch ANY Spidey movie, even if it stars Mr. Bean and is directed by Ang Lee (which failed miserably when he directed the Eric Bana version of Hulk). Casting all hate aside, I sat on a theater for 2-hours-plus last weekend to try to find a reason, any reason, to love this new Spidey trilogy and make me forget about the Tobey Maguire version I have grown to love.

In short, here are my ten cents about the movie:

(Spoiler Alert! If you have not watched this movie and want to have a pristine experience when doing so, do not read further!)

1. This movie was produced by Sony Pictures, so it was no surprise that all the gadgets "advertised" in the movie are Sony's. The new Xperia phone Peter was using. The Vaio laptop that Dr. Connors had in his office. I am an Apple fanboy, so seeing these Sony gadgets in my favorite superhero movie was somewhat disturbing. In a parallel universe, I hope Apple acquires Sony or Marvel, so I can see Spidey makes calls using an iPhone and Dr. Connors tapping away on his Macbook Air. A boy can dream, right?

2. During various web-swinging and fight scenes in the movie, the camera angle resembled a first-person-shooter game, so it felt like the audience was actually Spidey, swinging from building to building or punching the bad guys. Loved this new camera innovation. I bet these scenes will look better in the 3D or IMAX version of the movie, so if you have the time and extra dough to watch this in 3D or IMAX, I would recommend you to do so.

3. Garfield (no, not the cat) vs. Maguire. I first saw Andrew Garfield in The Social Network (which I loved and have watched numerous times), so naturally my brain kept imagining him as Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin, but with a Spidey suit. His skinny and gawky posture fared better as Peter Parker than Tobey's, who is shorter and less geeky. This however did no justice to the fact that Tobey is a much better actor. The witty dialogues that are trademarks of Spidey sounded more lively coming out from Tobey's mouth than they did from Andrew's. It was also difficult to gauge Andrew's emotions during the movie, as his facial expression remained flat through happiness, sadness, anger, or love. Taking the best from both actors, I would lump together Andrew's posture and Tobey's voice & acting to come up with the perfect Peter Parker.

4. Tobey's Spider-Man shot webbing right out of a small incision on both his wrists resulting from spider bites, while Andrew's shot it from his modified wristwatches, complete with auto-refill cartridges in case it runs out. Guess which one I love better. Superheroes are humans with super powers, not super gadgets. A fatwa I always believe in. Near the end of the movie, the Lizard destroyed both of Andrew's watches during battle, and the we were left with a Spider-Man who could no longer shoot webbing and had to rely on punches and kicks. Where was the fun in that? Tobey's win this one big.

5. Whoever design the Lizard needs to read Spidey comics. The dude was supposed to have a pout! The movie version looked like the Incredible Hulk with tail. Seriously. Maybe it was difficult to design a Lizard costume with pout. But I guessed that was what CGI is for. Welsh actor Rhys Ifans was a terrible choice for Dr. Connors. He looked to young to be a friend of Peter's father, and too goofy to be a professor. I first saw him in Notting Hill, playing Hugh Grant's idiotic roommate. This was another image that I could not get off of my brain as I watched him play Dr. Connors. I kept waiting for him to pull off a t-shirt saying "You look beautiful" in front and "Fancy a shag?" in back.

6. Peter Parker was an orphan nerd, living with his uncle and aunt, both of whom are working-class New Yorkers, earning just enough to pass by. Peter worked part-time in the Daily Bugle, taking pictures of Spider-Man. Yet with all this limits, Andrew's version have no trouble sporting a shiny Sony Xperia phone, which last time I checked was pretty expensive. Who was his Sugar Momma?

7. Peter's Spidey managed to keep his identity secret from Mary Jane until the very end of the second movie, when he had to take off his mask to fight Doctor Octopus. He kept saying no to MJ's advances, in fear of casting her and whoever close to Spider-Man in grave danger. Excellent job, Tobey. Andrew's Spidey meanwhile just couldn't keep his mouth shut (and his tongue secured). About midway through the movie, while lounging in Gwen Stacy's balcony overlooking NYC, he revealed his identity to her and then they smooched lustfully. Guess he will learn to be more discreet and proper when he meets MJ in movie number two.

8. Bryce Dallas Howard (Ron Howard's busty daughter) played Gwen Stacy in Spider-Man 3, and watching Emma Stone in The Amazing Spider-Man made me want to go back in time. Who did the casting for this movie? Bryce was definitely hotter, looked smarter, and could act better than Emma. I hope they do better when they cast for MJ in the next movie.

9. After watching the final battle, you have to wonder. Who stopped the Lizard: Spidey or Gwen Stacy? Near the end of the battle, Spidey was virtually weaponless (his webbing-watches were smashed by the Lizard), crippled (his right leg was shot by the NYPD moments earlier, which made him unable to run, jump, nor swing properly), and hopeless. But the scientist in Gwen somehow came up with an anti-Lizard serum that she dispersed to the air around the building, effectively terminating the Lizard's power. Nice going, Spidey. Maybe in the next movie, MJ will play the superhero and kill the Goblin with a broomstick.

10. Marvel was known to insert hints (or Easter Eggs, as we nerds call them) about sequels in their movies' ending credit. That's why I was among the enlightened few who remained in my seat even after they turned on the theater lights. For this Spidey flick, the Easter Egg was showing Dr. Connors in his prison cell, right arm gone (again), talking to a neatly-suited man in shadows. The mysterious man applauded Curt for his efforts and asked him if Peter knew the truth about his father, Richard Parker, to which Curt replied in the negative. Various theories have surfaced in web forums about who the man was, from Norman Osborn (owner of Oscorp, the company which Dr. Connors worked for, and the Goblin), Mysterio, Otto Octavius (fellow scientist and Doctor Octopus), or even Richard Parker himself. No matter who, we should know more about him in the next movie.

All in all, a great Spidey reboot movie with new cast members, villains, and movie-making technology, but didn't give me the same great feeling I got after watching the first Spidey movie in 2002. Since this franchise has been tagged as a trilogy, I believe it was too early to judge based on one movie only. I'm going to have to watch the full trio to make my verdict, and believe me when I vow that I will be the first in line to watch. Go get 'em, tiger! (AI)

Why the Church Needs to Start Filtering Their Congregations

The Catholic church can now stop focusing on quantity and shift their worries to quality instead.

For the first time in history since Jesus bestowed His church upon the broad shoulders of Saint Peter (the original "Rock", no offense to Dwayne Johnson..), the church have amassed enough followers to rake in consecutive Sunday-sellouts that will invoke envy from major sporting venues such as New York's Madison Square Garden or Denver's Invesco Field at Mile High.

Take a look at Catholic churches in Kelapa Gading, North Jakarta, for instance. Even with one gigantic mother-of-a-church that can easily seat 4,000 warm-bodies a pop, plus two smaller kiddie-churches that are still considerable in-size for today's standards, and all of them doing 4-5 separate masses every weekend, you will be hard-pressed to find an empty seat with unobstructed view of the altar when masses start.

And that was on regular Sundays. If you talk about Christmas, Good Friday, or Easter masses,
the effect will be tenfold. You have to arrive at the church at least 2 hours before mass starts to even get a shot at sitting inside. Come later and risk sitting outside, below make-shift tents that do nothing to protect you from the heat or the air pollution. Attending Christmas mass will give you the feeling of standing festival on a Green Day rock concert, complete with smell of incense, heat, humidity, and stink of sweats.

Hallelujah! So it's all good, right? Even when we were kids attending Sunday schools only with the promise of a cone of ice cream or a bowl of noodle afterwards, we as Catholics were indoctrinated to spread the teaching of Jesus. To gather flocks high and low, and bring them to His Kingdom. To convert the next person sitting next to you on a quiet, urban bus ride at 2 in the morning. The church is so overflowing with believers that it no longer needs us to advertise it, to sell it. The lines of people queuing to be admitted can probably rival those during an Apple iPad 2 launch in China.

If it's numbers that the church wants, then the church has succeeded. But if it's quality they need, then the church can weep bloody tears, for it has gone back to its Pagan days.

Take a glance at the most superficial and easily-observed phenomena: What do those thousand-strong people really do during masses? The majority (read: old folks..) will of course be praying and singing enthusiastically, but many others can be found (in no apparent order..) sleeping, fiddling with their cellphones, pouncing away on their portable game consoles, eating and drinking, chit-chatting, ogling at the hot girl one row ahead, day-dreaming, running around making funny-but-annoying noises (kids..), and my favorite, making out with their significant others.

The quality of the offense increases exponentially with each increasing meter from the altar. And if you happen to be sitting outside under the tents, where the priest cannot see you, you also have the options to buy food from the street vendors, play thumb-wrestling, watch DVD on your laptop, catch the ball game on your portable TV, or better yet, go to nearby malls and come back later during communion.

If Jesus had come back to the world today and witnessed this atrocity, would He be happy and peaceful? Or would He say, O great Pilate, please crucify Me ten more times, so long as I do not have to see these demons-incarnated ruin My Church?

What today's church win in quantity, it lacks horribly in quality. And its counter-moves are even more sorry. Where else in the world can you find a place of worship equipped with cellphone-signal-jammers to prevent people from using their BlackBerries during mass? In what other praying sites can you find civil servants standing guard during masses, with the sole objective of reminding people to pray quietly and not commit the above offenses? We Catholics should be so proud that we're pioneers there.

Who to blame? Or what? Is it the very repetitive rites of the Catholic church that are similar whether you are in the Vatican or Timbuktu? Is it the boring sermons cast by aging priests that are considered out-of-date by today's generation Next? Is it the fact that, even if you commit the above offenses in church, nobody will punish you outright? Someone once told me that a wrong deed that goes unpunished will become a right deed overtime.

Many can argue what causes these atrocities in church, but I think the blame can be put to the Church's affinity towards baby or child-baptism. Think of it. Catholic parents, stemming from the promise they made to the Church when they wed, bring their babies of less than 1-year old to churches to be baptized. These babies are simply babies, with no comprehension of what baptism means or what becoming a member of the church entails. They become Catholics without their own consent. Being Catholic is a given, just like the names that their parents bestowed upon them. They grow up with the names Bill or Hillary or Monica or others attached to their beings, just like they grow up and suddenly realize that they are Catholics.

Given this condition, it's no surprise these converted babies become what we call "ID card Catholics". Their ID card says Catholics, but they have no idea what being Catholic means. They go to church because their parents or their friends ask them to. Going to church becomes a social obligation, rather than a spiritual necessity. They end up doing God-knows-what during masses, and when their parents do not stop them from doing so, it becomes a habit, a norm. They think that it is OK to play Mario Kart on their Nintendo DS during mass.

The aftermath is even worse. These converted babies grow up, get married with one another, have more babies, and they baptize these newborns without themselves knowing what it entails to be Catholic parents, because they have got it wrong from the start! Their babies will do worse things in church and their parents will not stop them, because they are also busy doing their forbidden things. Replicate this generations over and you will have Armageddon even before it is supposed to happen.

So, how to stop this cycle? If I have the answer, then they will probably elect me as the next Pope. But ultimately, I think everything has to start within the family. Being Catholic parents, you have to understand how to rear your child in the Catholic ways, and that includes teaching them how to behave during masses. Remind them not to use their cellphones or portable game consoles in church. Stop them from chit-chatting or eating or drinking or running around in church. If they refuse to behave, then you have to be willing to dole out some kind of punishment, like taking away that promised ice cream cone after church. Your kids may hate you, but it will benefit them in the long run.

I read somewhere that the worst crime to humanity is not murder, rape, theft, or even false accusations. It is ignorance. The day we stop caring for anything or anyone around us, that's when we stop being humans. And that is proven true in this case. If you stop caring about what your kid does during mass, then you should never have baptized them in the first place.

Even if all families manage to control their children's behaviors in church, I cannot guarantee you that these atrocities will perish. But at the very least, it will lessen in magnitude. People can then enjoy masses the way it is supposed to be enjoyed: As the moment when God comes among us and have dinner with us during the Holy Communion.

I close this post by noting that what I observed in Catholic churches in Kelapa Gading may not happen in churches elsewhere. But I believe they do, some more, some less. I have been to enough Catholic churches around Jakarta to know this as a fact.

Also, I never proclaim myself a saint and have in fact been found guilty of some of the above offenses (but no, I do not make out in churches..). I am not proud of what I have done and wish I could have better control over my urges during mass. But alas, I am only human. At the very least, I care enough about the Catholic church that I compelled myself to write this post.

Sanctuary!!

We hear this word used may times to describe a place or condition where we as humans can find solace and peace, away from everything else this cruel world has to offer. This word originates in ancient European times, when people fleeing the persecutions of the anti-Church movements would scramble to the nearest cathedral or church and declared "Sanctuary!". According to prevailing rules at the time, the persecutors were not allowed to capture or harm those who have set foot in God's holy shrines and declared sanctuary, until of course, they came out again, in which they became legal targets for arrows, spears, and whatever weapon of choice they use.

This concept, whether we realize it or not, carry forward into this modern times. The stress of everyday life, of our workplace, of horrible traffic conditions, and even of our own family members, relatives, and friends, has suggested the need for a place or a situation where we can just simply get away, even if only for the briefest amount of time. We all need our own sanctuaries, or some "me time", to refresh, recharge, restart, in hope that when we re-emerge from it, we become better souls ready to take on the challenges of life.

As no two human beings are alike, the form and concept of sanctuaries differ from one to another. For some, it could be escaping alone to a remote tropical island at world's end, sitting by the beach whilst sipping a glass of tequila. It could be camping in a mountain or forest that no soul has touched for eons of years, becoming one with Mother Nature. It could be going to the nearest shopping strip and spending money like crazy. It could be sitting alone in their room with their favorite tunes playing and a good book on hand. It could be driving down an empty city highway at 2 AM with their car windows open. Or to convene back to ancient times, it could also be going to their respective places of worship, sitting in silence, communicating with God in silent prayers. All are valid sanctuaries, so long as they soothe the soul and refresh the body for a better tomorrow.

As time goes and with all the technological advancements we have today, this sanctuary is harder and harder to seek and to maintain. Peace is often disturbed by the most mundane of things. Phone calls, text messages, emails, crying babies, extreme weather, even by a police officer stopping your car at 2 in the morning for a breathalyzer test. These simple things can quickly turn your supposed sanctuary into a living nightmare!

As social beings, we live in a web of interconnectedness with others around us, and we cannot escape this, even if we want to. Friends will look for us to hang out. Kids will look for us to play with them and take them to the mall. Mothers and wives will look for us to do household chores and drive them places. Bosses will look for us to get updates on projects. Employees will look for us to get advices and approvals. The list goes on and on. At the end, our sanctuary seems to have vanished into thin air, because everybody wants a piece of our time! In the most extreme case, our "me time" is only limited to the time we spend alone in the bathroom in the morning or late at night, when everyone else has dozed off. With so little sanctuary, no wonder people nowadays are more stressed up than ever!

There is no cure from this condition, since we as social beings are destined and required to interact with those around us, to continue living until we achieve the ultimate end. We cannot stop interacting and start living in solitary confinement, unless we are grade-9 prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. We as humans have to endure and collect our little sanctuaries here and there to keep us sane, to keep us going in this life. Why little sanctuaries? Because the major ones are almost impossible to come by in this era!

Collecting these little sanctuaries does require a bit of creativity. We could sneak out for coffee in the middle of our hectic workdays. We could plug our noise-canceling earphones and blare out tunes from our iPhones while crammed in a crowded subway train. We could take a break from writing that boring 50-page report to quickly check our Facebook page. We could momentarily escape the dreaded traffic home by stopping by at a restaurant to have a nice dinner. We could doze off to a peaceful sleep and turn off all communication devices at night. The key is doing what works for you in a situation where only God Himself can disturb you.

Sanctuaries are easier found when you are single and living in a studio apartment, 6,000 miles away from home. That much is true. But that does not mean we cannot find it when we are married with two kids and living in the same house as your parents or in-laws. There will be more disturbances, yes, and I do not need to list them out one by one. But even in this seemingly peace-less situation, one can still find sanctuary to get away from it all. At the end of the day, when the babies and grandparents are fast asleep, and we are together with our spouse in our bedroom, with the options to chat about the day, to watch DVDs or TV shows together, or just to cuddle and do you-know-whats, we can always create our little sanctuary.

"Our" sanctuary, you ask? Yes, our sanctuary. Of course there are times when we need a more private sanctuary, where we subtract that significant other of ours and be completely and absolutely alone with our thoughts. Being married, this is more difficult to achieve, because ultimately there is this person who sleeps in the same room and spends most of their time with us. We cannot simply ignore them and do the things we want to do in solitary confinement, because when you are married, everything has to be done together. And if we ignore this rule and do things in solitary, the nagging questions will start.

Given this situation, the only private sanctuary we can enjoy is when our spouse dozes off to sleep before we do. Or when they travel with the in-laws and the kids. Or when a newborn appears in our live and the mother has to sleep with the baby for the first two months to feed them properly at night. These are sample situations when we, even in marriage, can have the room to ourselves and scream at the top of our lungs, "Sanctuary!!". We can then do whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, with whomever we want, in the comfort of our room. I may have to scratch that last "with whomever" part out to avoid parental lawsuits.

I am in no way encouraging married couples to take this to the extreme and live in separate rooms or even houses. No, that is never the point of marriage. We love our spouses, and we want to spend as much time as we can with them and the kids. But there are times when we just really, really, really had it. Times when we desperately need some me-time. Times when we need to get away from everyone and everything, even our most-loved ones. Times when we need to enter that little cathedral in our hearts and declare Sanctuary. Husbands need this. Wives need this. Everyone needs this.

I once heard a story about a couple who agreed to "take a break" from each other on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On those days, they will live on separate houses or apartments and do the things they want, with the exception of infidelity. This idea, while creative, is a bit on the extreme, and we do not need to go there to get our private sanctuaries. Every couple has different situations. What works for one may not work for others. The important thing is just to be creative and open-minded about it. Realize that your spouse needs a break from you once in a while, even if they love you more than anything in the world. At the end, you can find that these little breaks will serve not to doom a relationship, but to strengthen it and to suppress the boredom and monotony that come with it.

I close this post by urging you to find your own little and private sanctuaries, to make this life more livable and your problems more bearable. They are hard to find, but trust me, they are there! You just have to look a little harder.

Always Take What the Defense Gives You

A few days ago I was busy sweating it out on a cross-trainer machine
in my gym. There are 4 cross-trainers available, two of them with soft
pedals (i.e. you actually get more calories burned in similar time
intervals), and two with hard pedals, where you pump like crazy but
end up with less calories. I always go for the soft pedals when they
are available, and that day was no exception.

I was about halfway done on my 30-minute routine when this middle-aged
mother comes in, ready to work-out. She seemed eager to get on the
soft cross-trainers, which were occupied by me and this other fellow.
She took a peek at how much time was remaining on both of our
routines, and grudgingly decided to wait. And wait she did. She even
called up someone on her cell phone, saying that she was in a gym, and
because someone was occupying the machine she'd like to use, she had
to push their appointment an hour back.

The thing is, there were 2 empty cross-trainers available for her use.
Granted, they are hard-pedals, but they will still give you the same
work-out. Not to mention the other machines available for cardio: 10
treadmills, 4 stationery bikes, and 2 step machines, most of which are
empty.

If God puts you in the same situation as soccer mom was, what will you
do? Will you keep waiting for the machines you want to become empty,
knowing you have an appointment afterwards? Or will you wise up and do
your cardio on a different machine, saving you the time while still
getting the same work-out done?

Life often presents us with similar situations. We have hots for the
school's head cheerleader, but she's dating the school's quarterback.
We want to work for this awesome company near where we live, but they
have no vacancy at the moment. We are dying to see this new
blockbuster in a downtown cinema, but all seats for that hour's show
are loaded.

Some of you may have different approaches to such situations, but mine
is always to make the best out of a lousy shit-hole. You take what
life gives you right now, and hope that sometime in the future, you
can finally attain what you desire in the first place. So what if you
can't date the head cheerleader? Maybe you and her were never meant to
be. So what if you can't work at that posh office near home? There are
other jobs that might pay you better. So what if you can't watch the 5
PM show? You can always have an early dinner and watch the 7 PM
instead.

"When God closes one door, He opens another one for you." This is the
analogy used by people devoted to the church. Me, I'm no saint, so my
analogy to this would come from the world of sport that I love so
much. And that is to take what the defense gives you. Every time.

Teams in sports have different styles of play that become their
trademark. The Lakers of the 90s have a fast style that they aptly
call "Showtime". The Jazz live and die by the pick 'n roll, especially
in the Malone & Stockton era of the late 90s. Phil Jackson implemented
the triangle offense in Chicago that allowed them six championships
during the same era. These trademark styles worked on most nights, but
soon defenses began to learn how to diffuse & contain them. What to
do? Did they keep a hard-head and continue forcing their styles of
play, even if it meant losing? Or did they try to go to Plan B, to
find a chink in the defense's armor and hopefully get a win?

Take the Bulls for example. What if on certain nights, the opponent
was able to stifle their triangle offense? The coach would ask the
team to ditch the offense and go to Plan B, which of course would
normally give the ball to Michael Jordan's hands and let him
single-handedly lead them back. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did
not. But at least they wised up and took what the defense gave them.

The moral of all this is to remind all of us, that there always is a
Plan B. And Plan C. And Plan D. And so on. If what we really want in
life is not yet there for the taking, we can always come back later.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Whenever appropriate, settle for the
next best thing, while keeping our eyes on the main prize. Date the
school choir leader. Work at that other office near home. Watch the 7
PM show. You never know how life will turn out if you sometimes pick
Robin over Batman.

As for you soccer mom, stop staring at my ass and hop on that other
cross-trainer to work on your sagging ass!

Why Vatican Should Promote Contraception

"The use of condoms and other acts which purposely divert the purpose of sexual intercourse from holy, human procreation, is here forth condemned as sins of the flesh". Heard this one before? This is an age-old argument that has recently surfaced again in an article I read from a local paper.

In case you are a bit fuzzy on the background, let me paint you a general picture. The Catholic church (and by Catholic church, one may imply the Vatican, which of course holds the highest accolade, or smaller sects within the Vatican. Heck, it could even be Opus Dei, for all we know..) in recent years has given strong consideration to condemn various methods of birth control. Pills, condoms, IUD spirals, even coitus interruptus (you know, where you shoot your load outside..) are deemed sinful because they prevent procreation, the only acknowledged purpose of sexual intercourse between two human beings. Logically, this also leads into their crusade against gay marriages, because gays cannot procreate naturally.

My lack of qualification prevents me from going into any heated, theological debate about this. But the simple truth is this: If all sexual intercourse must be intended for procreation, this planet will overflow with unwanted babies and the human race will suffer as a result. Crime rates will go up, and resources will be scarce. Earth will become a living hell and the number of sins will jack up exponentially. Is this the Earth that God wants us to inherit and develop?

What other options do men have in this case? Masturbate? A sin. Prostitution? Even worse. Polygamy? Dream on, Marion! Hold your load until it explodes during mid-sleep in a wet-dream-bonanza? Where's the fun in that?

Moreover, studies have shown that men who ejaculate LESS than 20 shots per month have a greater risk of getting prostate cancer. This finding is backed by the sad statistic of a staggering number of Catholic priests who suffer from said cancer, presumably due to their vow of celibacy (and aversion towards their own man-junk..).

All in all, contraception seems like the better option. It may be evil, as the Vatican decrees, but it is a LESSER evil than those other outcomes. You know about the seven deadly sins of humanity: Gluttony, Greed, Envy, Lust, Anger, Pride, and Sloth. Denouncing contraception as a sin will suppress Lust, but it may also catasthropically increase the recurrence of the other six.

How so? Imagine having all those loads in you with no channel to dispose them off, because you do not want another kid. In no time you will become an over-eating, lazy, self-righteous, insatiable bastard, with anger towards everyone except for your neighbor's wife, whom you secretly envy. Rather than transforming yourself into the Devil Reincarnated, why not consider a little release? All will be well and the world will become right again.

So my point is, rather than denouncing contraception as a sin, the Vatican may want to reconvene and discuss the consequences, probably during the next Conclave or while sipping tea on the Holy See's plush balcony, overlooking St. Peter's Square. Polygamy is a sin. Aye aye. So is prostitution. Could not agree more. Masturbation? Well.... Grey area there. But contraception should not only be allowed. It should be ENCOURAGED, what with all the sexually-transmitted-diseases floating around the planet, and how overcrowded our nations are with people.

If the Vatican truly holds the highest accolade of God's church on Earth, they should really decide what's best for all humanity. Why ban contraception when all it does is preventing more sins being committed and limiting the Earth's population to allow more resources for everyone?

So I close this post by urging you, my fellow readers, Catholic or not, to continue using contraception where deemed necessary. Sin or not, it is for God to decide when we bump into Him in Heaven. If contraception can make us all better as humans, and improve the quality of lives of those around us, who are the Vatican to condemn it as sin?

As for masturbation.... I have another 5-page essay on the subject, but that's for another time and place. For now, let's just leave it as a grey area.... And please aim carefully.

Do We Believe in God or Fortune-Tellers?

If you were born under the Chinese zodiac of Dragon, you can't get
married during the year of the Dragon (2012, in case you ask..). Why?
Because shit will happen if you do. If you're a Horse, you can't marry
a Chicken (i.e. born 3 years younger than you). Why? Shit will happen.
Two days before & two days after the Chinese new year, you can't clean
the house or throw out the trash. Why? More shit will happen.

The more we think, the more we realize how ancient mythology still
plays a large part in our modern lives: whether we succeed or fail,
whether we marry happily or shoot the crap out of each other like Mr.
& Mrs. Smith. We may be devoted to our religions: Moslem, Catholic,
Christianity, Buddhism, and so on. But it's funny how most of the
time, we rely on ancient beliefs instead of our one true God or Allah
or Buddha, to determine our fate.

Recently, a good friend (who shall remain anonymous) who has been
single for God-knows-how-long, met a girl who, according to his
account, might just be his soulmate. They have great chemistry, and
both have gone though the daunting task of meeting the parents. All
doors are wide open for them to hit the next step in their
relationship: a beautiful wedding. One problem: the girl is a Dragon,
so she can't get married next year (Dragon year is 2012). The
following year, 2013, is Snake year, so the guy can't get hitched. All
in all, they only have until January of next year to marry, or else
wait until 2014.

Can a wedding be arranged in 10 months? Sure, I've seen it done. Do
they both want to marry in such a rush? No idea. Do they believe
strongly in this myth? The guy sure does. Can their relationship
survive and wait 3 more years? Only time will tell. Ideally, they
ditch the myth and get married next year. But if shit does happen in
their marriage, they will second-guess their decision and wondered,
had they believed the myth and delayed the wedding to 2014, would they
have better luck? The argument will add fuel to the bonfire.

Another case that was brought up to me lately by a step-auntie, who is
known to have an "ability", is that of my third kid. She has this
strong premonition that, if me and my wife have a kid in the year of
the Dragon (2012. Yes this number keeps popping up like an apparition
from a Mayan calendar), then our fortune will soar sky high. I did not
ask her what will happen if we don't. We'll probably be just regular
John and Jane Doe's, living conventional lives.

We do not mind a third kid. The issue is timing. My wife is now
pregnant with our second, who is due in May of 2011. The Dragon year
ends around January of 2013, so if we want to have a Dragon kid, she
has to get pregnant again as late as May 2012. While this is not
biologically impossible, she will surely have a lot on her plate: the
new baby and the first son (Josh) growing up and probably starting
school. Can she handle another pregnancy THAT soon?

Of course, being a Catholic, I believe God determines my fate. The
zodiac of my third kid will have nothing to do with His will. What I
cannot handle, as in the first case of my friend above, is the
second-guessing. Say, for example, my third kid is born in 2014
(whatever year that is), and after its birth, my life takes a plunge
down the toilet bowl. People who knew about the premonition will start
blaming me, saying that, if I had had the kid during the Dragon year,
that shit would not have happened.

People who truly believe in God will not second-guess all of the
above, will they not? Everything happens according to God's will: the
failed marriage and the failed live, in the above cases. But we live
in an environment where ancient myth still plays a key role. People
still do second-guessing. Being an Indonesian-Chinese, my examples
revolve around Chinese mythologies, but for others, I'm sure other
mythologies produce similar effects.

What to do? Only to prove those myths wrong, and me and my wife are on
our way of doing so. See, me and her are separated by three years. I'm
a Horse, she's a Chicken. Chinese wisdom says that we can't marry,
or.. You guessed it. Shit will happen. But we've been married for
three years, have a decent life, with a cute and smart first son, a
second daughter on the way, a good business, families who love us,
great friends, and so on. All those, I believe, are God-given.

If I had followed the myth and marry the ideal damsel (a girl born under
the Dog zodiac, for those who wonder), who knows, maybe I would have
hit it big and become President of the United States. But that's
second-guessing and God will have none of that.

So my point is, respect your tradition and myth, but never let them
dictate your lives, because only God determines your fate. Nobody else
does. Do whatever makes you and those around you comfortable. You live
to satisfy them, not those fortune-tellers. And finally, never
second-guess whatever happens in life. It will drive you nuts.

I close this post with a kind wish, that my friends in case #1 above
will find it in their hearts to *sort of* ignore the ancient myths,
and instead focus on what you have in hand, and that is each other's
love. Give time for love to grow in your relationship. No need to rush
into marriage to have it before 2012, and no need to wait until 2014,
because that's too darn long. God always gives what is best for His
children. Have faith in this. Not in man-made myths.

As for my Dragon kid.. Well, let's just say it's still up in the air..
Stay tuned.

Have BlackBerry but Can't Do BBM

Despite being considered by many as a developing country with roughly 50% of its people still living under poverty line, Indonesia also happens to be a haven for tech companies to introduce their newest gadgets. Nokia & RIM have been known to launch their latest handsets in Indonesia, even before they come out in their respective home countries.

This trend can be partially attributed to the "trendsetter" mentality of Indonesians, or to put it correctly, some of its richest people. They equalize having the latest gadgets as achieving high social status. Spotting a BlackBerry (BB) Torch when all your friends are still using Onyxes will give you bragging rights. Pulling out an iPad from your duffel bag to take notes in class will guarantee astonished looks from the cutest girls in campus. A good start to get you laid in no time.

That is all true and good. But how many of those gadgets have veered from their original intended use when they fall to the hands of Indonesians? BBs, which was initially designed to facilitate secure communication & data transfer between military personnels (and eventually, consultants and investment bankers), are now being used by middle-aged housewives to gossip, lonely husbands to cheat, and teenagers to chit-chat. iPads, designed more to surf the web, read e-books, watch videos, and listen to music, are now being manhandled by toddlers & kids playing Angry Birds.
 
The misuse does not end there. Probably the most blatant and utterly-unimaginable failure is where people (yes, I am still talking about our fellow Indonesians..) use BB handsets but never activate their BB service! They only use it to make calls, send text messages, and occasionally take snapshots. WoW. I have always believed that the only power BB has over the rest of the handset world is its BB Messenger (BBM) service. The rest of its features, other handsets can do much, much better. Nokia reigns in its ease of use. Apple & the Android phones beat the crap out of BB in terms of multimedia & range of applications. Personally, if those other brands can do BBM.... I would never want to use BB handsets due to their inferior features.

So back to the real issue. Why would these people use BB handsets but do not activate their BB service, which renders the handset useless, in my opinion? It's like shooting blank semen with no sperm in it. I can think of several reasons:
1. They received the handsets as gifts, did not know how to use them, and ended up using them as conventional cell phones,
2. They are too cheap to activate the BB service,
3. Not too many people in their friends network use BBM.
4. They fear the complexity of using BBM, and resort to use the handsets conventionally.

I have known 2 people with such condition, and I am confident there are more out there. They both belong to the above-50 age group, so maybe reasons #2 and 4 apply. All in all, they seem happy with their pattern of use.

Whatever the reason, we can confirm one thing: BB handsets in Indonesia is as much a status symbol as they are communication tools. As long as you hold a BB handset in your hand, activated or not, you can walk with more swagger, head up, chin up. And that girl on the next table is just a smile away from noticing you. And your brand new, shiny, luscious red BB Torch you bought on Valentine"s day.